No, I'm not pregnant.
We'll be fostering girls as part of our new job. We're so excited! We got to meet them this past weekend and it was incredible. We both cannot wait to start working with them! I don't have a clue what I'm going to do with my self. I'm not girly. I've never been! And now I'm supposed to be this female role model for 6 girls! I may go crazy! :D But it'll be a good crazy and I'm excited to learn and for the adventure that waits before us!
And this is about where it ends. Information that is. As part of our new job we've signed a confidentiality agreement. AKA we can't talk about ANYTHING in relation to our new job. So the information begins and ends here.
Vegas was incredible! Really. Everything was a whole new experience. I'm a southern Mormon girl. I've lived in the south, and in Mormonville of Utah. That's it. Vegas was a huge culture shock for me. And the only thing more crazy that Vegas billboards was Vegas drivers!!! Oh my gosh. I thought we were going to die so many times! I'm excited to get out of my comfort zone in so many different ways. I'm excited to start a life of service, so much more than I'm currently doing. No longer will it be service projects here and there, notes in the mail and phone calls to help organize things. We'll be living and breathing service. I cannot wait for that.
While we were in Vegas we had the opportunity to go to the Vegas Temple. It was such an incredibly sweet experience for me and words cannot quite express what happened within those walls. I'm really just overwhelmed sitting here thinking about it. EVERYTIME I've gone to the temple something has happened that has let me know that Heavenly Father is aware of me. And this time was no different. From the very first baptism I did as a 17 year old to my endowment to our sealing to every other ordinary time. Things like that make the Plan of Salvation real for me. How could I not believe in a God when he's so tangible at times like those, and these? I know I don't talk about church much, and that's kind of a derivative of my family life growing up (me and my family have a don't ask, don't tell rule about religion). But tonight, I cannot seem to let myself stop these words from pouring out, so please, bear with me a moment as I get this on paper.
These last few months have been nothing but a witness to me of how much Heavenly Father is aware of me and my personal needs. I'll be the first to sheepishly admit that I do not turn to him enough, but that is my own weakness. From the very first Relief Society Meeting our first Sunday in Tallahassee when we had a guest speaker come and talk about continuing our education in what ever means and ways possible for our individual situations to being called to teach Primary to a little girl who's family I silently judged from my pew. And upon getting to know her and her family I felt humbled by this little girl and her family and their faith. Who was I to judge when I didn't have a clue of their situation? (This lesson I've been taught too many times. I'm trying, Heavenly Father, I'm trying, I promise the more you keep teaching the sooner I'll learn it. ;) )
I feel as if these last few months have really been a test for me, and my faith, personally. Not collectively or globally. But me, personally. Because of the parenting lifestyle I (we) have chosen I've felt like I've some how gotten involved in a group of people that made me feel like a hypocrite for believing all the things that I do, and raising Bo the way we are and yet still believing marriage is between one man and one woman. Like it was the "cool" thing to do to not believe in the gospel and some times that was really difficult, and it sounds so trivial written down like that, but when you're constantly being surrounded by people who are trying to convince you of this, it becomes very difficult and burdensome. I've had many conversations with myself and with Shaun about what the heck I was doing. Why are we so strong in our beliefs and really getting back down to the core of the issues at hand. It was extremely helpful and needed. I've distanced myself from most of those people now, sadly, because here I am, yet again, losing/distancing myself from people because of my beliefs. But I'm learning how to be active in a community of women and mothers without losing who I am. And that's a lot more difficult than it sounds. But I'm SURE that ability will come in hand in the coming months as we start to foster children.
Back to the topic at hand. More or less what I'm getting at is that Heavenly Father puts us in places as certain times in our lives for reasons, sometimes unseen, but other times it's so obvious it cannot be missed. Shaun has often questioned our move here. But for me, it was plain to see. And even if we just moved here for 5 months for me to learn these things, I'm thrilled. I'm go glad that Heavenly Father loves each of his children enough that he'll move them across the country to teach them such simple lessons!
Ok. So sorry for all that. Maybe someone else needed to hear this tonight. Maybe not. Maybe this is just for me, to look back on in a year from now, and say, Oh, yeah! I remember now.
Good night guys!
Kirsten
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