So before I get started, if any of the following words offend you, you may want to stop reading now: cervix, vagina, uterus.
Now that we have that covered..... There are photos in this post, but they are G-rated. (unless you have a problem with breastfeeding... then maybe they aren't G-rated for you...)
Moving right along.
I'm going to start at the beginning, the very beginning, because so so so few people actually knew I was pregnant. So if you were one who woke up the morning of January 21st, SHOCKED to see that I had had a baby, take heart. You were not alone!
I found out I was pregnant on Mother's Day. I will always remember that. And tell my baby girl that. I cannot tell you how special that is to me. That Mother's Day was profound. Obviously. And started us on our journey to this beautiful little girl who we now hold. We found out VERY early on that we were once again at risk for losing her. And I started taking medication to try to prevent another miscarriage. The medication made me very sick. And it was extremely hard. But I'd do it all again in a heart beat. I spent the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy laying around trying not to puke, trying to eat anything I could manage to stomach. I was SO grateful when week 12 came around and I could start weaning off of the medicine. And when week 14 came and I didn't have to take any of it any more, we rejoiced.
Other things you should know before I get into labor details.
We didn't find out the gender. We had MANY opportunities as I was having ultrasounds every 2-4 weeks being high risk. But we decided to be surprised and it was one of the best decisions we made. We went back and forth on whether or not we thought it was a boy or a girl. But as we got closer to meeting our little one, finally, we both really thought it was going to be a girl, and WE WERE RIGHT!
Hannah was LATE, just like her big brother, who took his sweet time coming into the world. She did too. I kept thinking I would go into labor the first week of January. HA! She had other plans. We all also thought she was going to be one chunky baby. They had her estimated weight at 36 weeks to be just under 6 lbs. So I thought, well this baby has had another 4.5 weeks to cook in there. This baby is going to weigh at LEAST 8 lbs. HA! She weighed 3 oz less than Bowen.
This baby got the affectionate nickname of "couch potato." as every non-stress test I had baby was sleeping. I was often offered juice and crackers. Which was a joke. As I recently found out that I am allergic to apples and I am severely gluten intolerant, suspected celiac. They once even brought me peanut butter crackers when Bowen was with me, I could not get them to get them to take the crackers out of the room fast enough. She would move around a bit but not enough to satisfy their test. She was just super chill, her heart rate wasn't "variable enough." So we would sit on the monitors for hours, waiting for "baby to wake up." Eventually baby would "be awake enough" to satisfy their needs and we would be able to leave.
Because of the hemiplegic migraine I had at 23 weeks pregnant I personally was not comfortable waiting much past my due date for baby to come. And neither was my doctor. Migraines are often triggered by the fluctuations of hormones, and there's huge fluctuations right before a women goes into labor. From what I had read most women had experienced more frequent and more severe hemiplegic migraines before they went into labor and during labor. To the point that the majority of women that I talked with, who had a history of hemiplegic migraines scheduled c-sections to avoid this. Being in labor and not being able to use half my body or be able to communicate at all was a HUGE MASSIVE fear of mine. When Shaun and I talked about labor our conversations almost always fell back on this. What he was to do if I were to get a migraine in labor. Because the nursing staff would most likely freak out, and rightly so, because it does really look like a stroke. But thankfully this ended up not being an issue at all. And I cannot express how grateful I am for that. But it was a risk I was unwilling to take, waiting longer to go into labor. So, 5 days past my due date, I was induced.
The day before I was induced we had a "double date" with Shaun's mom and Bowen. It was a lot of fun.
So we show up at the hospital and they get us back and into a room pretty quickly. But my OB was unable to be reached. So we sat around for a bit and then the nurse "saw decels" (deceleration in baby's heart rate after contractions I was already having, keep in mind, no medicine had been started.) They had been having a hard time keeping baby's heart rate on the monitor the whole time, and baby was "sleeping" again. So there I am sitting on the yoga ball, snacking, waiting for my OB to call back, waiting for meds to be ordered so my induction could actually be started, when our nurse walks in "I'm REALLY concerned about your baby." I had been watching the monitor, and was very unconcerned. I knew exactly what she was talking about when she walked in. And thought she was joking at first. But she insisted I wear an oxygen mask and climb into bed. We found it a bit ridiculous, so we snapped some photos. So there I am, hours ago I was walking around the street, baby was unmonitored, probably doing the EXACT same thing, but since I was supposed to be induced and was waiting for med orders and the nurse "thought she saw something" all of a sudden there was some minor medical emergency. That required and oxygen mask and bed confinement. I had been given no medications that would have altered babies heart rate. Or started labor at this point. Shaun and I seriously considered signing an AMA form and walking out of the hospital. (This is why you don't do continuous monitoring in labor if you can avoid it at all....)
Shortly after this photo was taken the nurse came back into the room. She had just gotten off the phone with my OB who had instructed her to start my actual induction. Instead of waiting for babies heart rate to become more variable like she was wanting. Thank goodness. Have I mentioned yet, how much I love my OB? So there I was, stuck in bed, oxygen mask on, it was nearing 4 hours past when my induction was supposed to begin. And FINALLY meds were flowing. We were so done with this nurse and it was nearing shift change so we were THRILLED! So out goes nurse Kelly, who needs glasses, enter nurse Kathy. I knew Kathy and I were going to get along the second she walked into the door. She ended up being JUST what we needed.
So my induction was strictly pitocin, which may be referred to as Pit from here on out. Pit normally starts at a dose 2 and goes up by 2's (so 2, 4, 6, 8 ending at 10 or 12. I used to know these things....) When Kathy showed up, I was still on a 2 dose. And baby's heart rate still wasn't variable. Though she didn't have a single more decel. Shortly after Kathy took over, pit was turned up to a 4 (it never got turned up past a 4), and she talked with my OB on the phone and it was suggested that my water be broken and internal monitors be placed to see if the more sensitive monitors would pick up on variations. Since my OB (Dr. W.) was attending a birth at a different hospital he asked that the on call OB at the hospital I was at do it, if I was ok with that. Once I found out who the on call Dr was, (Dr. H.) I immediately agreed. Dr. H. is known in the Las Vegas valley as one of the best, most natural birth friendly doctors. I had heard nothing but wonderful things about him, but I had unfortunately risked out of his care. I was more than ok with him taking care of me and for him stepping in on behalf of my wonderful doctor since he couldn't be there.
So Dr. H came in, broke my water, and placed internal monitors. When I showed up at the hospital I was a 3, 80%. When my water was broken I was a 4, 90%. Contractions were very manageable, but I was dying to get out of bed. I knew I was not going to make it through an entire labor stuck in bed.
Luckily for me, about 30 minutes after my water was broken nurse Kathy came back in with WONDERFUL news. The more sensitive monitors were picking up on slightly more variations in heart rate and NO decels. And while she was not yet comfortable with me taking the oxygen mask off, I got to get out of bed! I basically immediately jumped out of bed and onto the yoga ball. Between sitting on the yoga ball, and my water being broken my contractions started to become more intense. And finally we started to actually work through them. Shaun sat behind me, on something, I have no idea what. When you're in labor, it doesn't matter. He would apply counter-pressure during a contraction and tell me things like "look at that mountain you just climbed" when I would look at the monitor after the contraction was over. My contractions would come in pairs. Two right in a row, and then a big break. Shaun swears this is how it was with Bowen, but I have no memory of that. Eventually I was unhappy with our setup of counter-pressure/yoga ball and climbed back into bed, made a nest of pillows on the back of the bed and threw my self on top of it every contraction and Shaun applied counter-pressure that way. It was much more effective.
This went on for a couple of hours. And Kathy was wonderful. She would come in and offer helpful suggestions. She could tell by the counter-pressure and the positions I was in that I was having back labor, just as I did with Bowen. About 11:00 I finally became aware of the time enough to realize I needed to take Topamax. I was not willing to risk having a migraine in labor. So Kathy took my bottle down to the pharmacy for them to verify that it was what I claimed it was. And SURPRISE! It was. So I took my Topamax. About 11:30 what I affectionately have named "Topamax nap time" kicked in. Tomapax makes me insanely sleepy for about 30 min to an hour. Where the urge/desire to sleep is overwhelming. I found my self laying in bed, in a position that Kathy suggested would help baby turn in to a more desirable position, trying to sleep in between contractions. It was a joke. I had been in labor for 5.5 hours and had just taken a drug that makes me sleepy. I needed sleep. Desperately needed sleep. I told Shaun. "I. NEED. SLEEP." I decided then and there that I would ask Kathy to check me, and if I was getting close to transition that I would just suck it up and do my best to sleep between contractions, and if I wasn't close to transition, I would get an epidural and sleep for a few hours, and then have it turned off again to continue laboring after I had gotten a nap.
I was at a 5. So a lovely man came in and gave me an epidural. It was 11:48pm. (Keep that time in mind.) I asked Kathy when I got the epidural that when I came time to push if I could have the epidural turned off. I did this with Bowen, and wanted to do it again. She was a bit confused with the request at first, but agreed. After I got the epidural I was FREEZING but half asleep. Kathy came in with a HUGE armful of heated blankets and literally covered me from head to toe. No joke. She draped them over my head. She was wonderful. I didn't have to ask. She just did. Shaun said afterwards he was happy that we didn't hire a doula because she so perfectly acted as one for us. And I completely agree with him. She was JUST what we needed. I slept for 30 minutes roughly as Kathy stayed in our room draping blankets and logging medications and my epidural. I woke up, and felt different. And I was so glad she was in our room. I told her. "My tailbone hurts SO BAD! Would you mind checking me again? I know you JUST checked me, but it just hurts so bad!" She checked me again, I was at a 7. She turned off the Pit and told me to flip to whatever side I wanted to, now that my epidural was fully kicked in, and I didn't have to stay "level." (before the epidural kicks in fully you have to stay in a neutral position to prevent it from only working on the left side, or only the right side.) I thought this sounded like a lovely idea, to relieve pressure from sitting on my tailbone. So I flipped to my left side. She was standing right in front of me, Shaun was behind me, trying to sleep, we both thought it would be a couple more hours. The first contraction on my left side was MISERABLE. You know that feeling when you're stuck in the car and you JUST HAVE TO POOP. Like that second. And you don't think you're going to make it home? Or to a gas station? That was EXACTLY how the first contraction felt. The second contraction on my left side was an even more intense feeling of JUST that. I told Kathy. I said "Kathy, I know you JUST checked me, but I feel like I'm going to poop myself, can you check me again?" And I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy. Because I literally had only had 2 contractions since the last time she had checked me. Only 5 minutes had passed.
But she listened to me and agreed to check me again.
I kind of wish I had a video of her reaction and Shaun's reaction and my reaction, and how quickly our room filled. In 5 minutes I went from a 7, 0 station, to a 10 (completely dilated) +3 station.
I believe her words were "Your baby is RIGHT THERE." And then she called for help. Shaun quickly woke from his "slumber" and I started moaning through my contractions, still feeling like I was going to poop myself at any given second. But I cannot tell you the relief I felt when she told me it was just my baby. Kathy told me my Dr, (Dr. W) was about 20 minutes away and then asked if I thought I could wait for him to get there. I can't remember if I laughed at her or not, but I remember wanting to laugh at her. Surely that question was a joke. My answer was "No, there is NO WAY I can wait." (I was told I *had* to wait for my OB to show up with Bowen, and I was not going to do that again. If baby took her time getting there, fine. But I was going to be doing everything to relieve myself of what I was feeling. And that did NOT include waiting 20 minutes!) So there I was moaning my baby down. There was no beautiful breathing my baby down. No. I was moaning, roaring my baby down. It wasn't beautiful. It wasn't pretty. I'm pretty sure I was the least attractive I have ever been in my life moaning this baby out of my body. But it felt so right to do, and no one was saying otherwise. So I did.
Very quickly things changed. Kathy appeared right in front of my face. "Baby's heart rate doesn't look good. We're going to have Dr. H come in and deliver baby. Dr. W. is on his way, but he isn't here yet. Is that ok?" Sure! I had no idea what that meant at the time "deliver baby." My mind immediately thought she meant baby was in enough distress that I was looking at episiotomy/forceps/vacuum/some assistance of some sort. "Help deliver Baby" what did she mean by that? I had no idea. But in walked Dr. H, who I hardly knew, but trusted so much because of what I had heard about him, and his reputation in the valley. I knew if it was going to happen under his care, it was medically necessary. He came in, and took a seat at the foot of the bed. And watched the monitor. He did this for a couple contractions. Then everyone was on their feet. Dr. H included. Kathy was in my face again, trying to get my attention. "Kirsten, you need to push as hard as you can, and get your baby out, as fast as you can." I looked down and noticed Dr. H was no longer sitting. Everyone's demeanor had changed. I remember feeling like I was rolling around on the bed. I wasn't. But I remember feeling like I was. It was a strange feeling to accompany crowning. Dr. H was just there to catch our baby, as it turned out. Thankfully. I remember feeling like he threw her on my chest. He didn't but he did very quickly place her on my chest so that she could be stimulated enough so she could let out some good loud cries.
Then some funny things happened. Well, I think they are funny. One of the things we wanted was to have the vernix rubbed into baby's skin, and not rubbed off, but because of the really scary heart rate as she was coming into the world, she got LOTS of extra stimulation which meant that a lot of the vernix got rubbed off. And Shaun, being the papa bear he is, was trying to tell the nurses to leave the vernix on her skin, and I think it was Kathy comes over and basically tells him to be quiet they're trying to make sure she's ok, enough to stay on my chest. I find it very funny now. Poor Shaun. He is such a good papa bear!
The next funny thing that happened, the poor girl, was since we didn't know gender, and we requested that it not be announced, after they were done stimulating her and she had let out some good cries I tried to peek between her legs to see if she was a boy or a girl. Well, I only caught a glimpse of her umbilical cord, which was still intact and pulsing, and in between her legs, and I TOTALLY thought she was a boy for a SOLID 5 minutes, at least. Sorry baby. We checked again, and sure enough, it was just an umbilical cord, and she was 100% girl!!!
Finally my OB showed up, and told us, "next time I'm personally driving you guys to labor and delivery next time and sitting in your room until you have the baby." And we all laughed. Love him. He got there just in time to witness Shaun cut the cord and deliver the placenta. He gave us big hugs and told us "congratulations."
Hannah Claire Vidinhar was born January 21st 2015 at 12:31am, she weighed 7 lbs 5 oz, 18 in.
(You read that right, she was born less than an hour after I got the epidural. Kathy kept apologizing for not turning off the epidural like I had requested. To be perfectly honest, I don't blame her. It was a bit crazy. Whirlwind. Intense. Fast. But she was genuinely concerned that she hadn't got to do what I had asked of her. And I loved her even more for that. I was and am very unconcerned about it. It ended up being the last thing on my mind.)
I ended up asking to look at her tracings (heart rate) while she was being weighed and measured. And they were scary. She was tanking over and over again and taking a while to recover. It was not pretty. I also asked for the times to be read back to me. I told Kathy "It felt like everything happened SUPER FAST." It was then that I learned I went from a 7 to complete in 5 minutes. Absolutely insane.
Anesthesiologist guy came back into the room in complete disbelief. I believe he was supposed to be checking on the epidural, as it was right around the hour mark, make sure everything was ok, and if I was comfortable. Yet there I was holding a baby in my arms.
I LOVE that ^^^ photo. There's a quote by Ina May Gaskin that says "If a woman doesn't look like a goddess during labor, then someone isn't treating her right." Every time I see this photo I think of that quote. And let me tell you. Sitting in that bed, warmed blankets covering me from head to toe, with a wonderful nurse who just seemed to KNOW what I needed, I felt like a goddess. (That blanket behind my head is a left over one from after my epidural that managed to survive pushing.)
I love this photo of Shaun. I think this was the very first time Shaun got to hold Hannah. I. love. it.
Unfortunately since Hannah was born during flu season Bowen couldn't come on to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital. So this is how he met his baby sister. I LOVE how close he is to the phone and how he is trying to look at her so inquisitively.
Those lips!
One of the nurses made the bow hat for us. :D
We asked to discharge as soon as possible. Which was 24 hrs. So we left the hospital at 1 am. We got some interesting looks. But I was so glad to be going home.
Baby girl is now 2.5 weeks old and I cannot imagine life without her.
No comments:
Post a Comment